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Empath Series: 30 Traits of an Empath by Just Be – Trait 2 – Crowds or party on, dude???


Massive crowds after the fireworks

A while ago, I came across an amazing blog called 30 Traits of an Empath which covered many more traits than I come across before. They were written in a very clear and succinct way.  

I approached the author, a very humble person, to see if she or he (I can’t be sure on the gender) would give me permission to discuss them with my guides and post them here. I was told that I may.

The traits will be presented in their original form and if you wish to see the entire list, (and if you haven’t, I really recommend that you do) you can do so here.

As always my guide’s responses are in italics.

2.     Being in public places can be overwhelming: Places like shopping malls, supermarkets or stadiums, where there are lots of people around, can fill the Empath with turbulently vexed emotions that are coming from others.

 Personally, I don’t mind shopping malls and supermarkets. I’ve not really been to a stadium. At least, not in the past 30 years.

I don’t like some crowded places, such as the city on new year’s eve.

I really detest parties and night clubs. That’s like hell on earth for me.

It very much depends on the type of energy that is around you. When people gather together en masse, it creates a strong field that the Empath can easily pick up on. If the energy resonates with the Empath, they will feel at home. If not, then they will try to exit the first chance they can do it politely.

Now if you’re a sensitive type of person, you will find that alcohol fueled parties might well be  difficult to handle because alcohol often unleashes certain emotions that are often repressed.

If the Empath is already sensitive towards such things, they will find they are magnified.

I can’t say I noticed that, myself. I found it was more… I didn’t fit in and I also felt overwhelmed.

Yes, that is another thing worth understanding. Empaths will often feel like they don’t belong to such groups. These are the same people who can’t seem to connect socially. Yes, it’s true that they work fine one on one, but the bigger the crowd, the harder it becomes.

And why is that?

It’s due to actually not really belonging to certain groups. Some people are here to help, but that does not mean they are part of the people who they are helping. Now, let’s take you, personally.

You don’t drink, smoke, do drugs, enjoy parties, clubbing, demeaning people, gossip and sport like activities.

Those are all common interests that people share. You would rather go to a quiet place, have a coffee and a bite to eat and talk about spiritual topics, or something light-hearted.

While you might not find many people who you can connect to on those levels, you can certainly be sure that you are not the only one who feels that way. There are millions upon millions of others who can’t connect in this fashion. Yet, in spite of the numbers, they are sprinkled amongst the billions of people in this world. It is not unusual for someone to go through their entire life and never realize they have met someone else who feels the way they do. This may be especially due to other Empaths trying to fit in and pretend they have the interests that others have.

Add to that places that have a concentration of such people, you may not be able to function. Especially if it is filled with smoke, club music, noise, drugs and drunkenness. You will be overwhelmed with the very energies that you spend your time avoiding. You will not know what to do, let alone even function.

Many will dismiss you as a ‘party pooper’. Some will look at you and wonder what your problem is. It would be rare for anyone to realize that this is hell for the Empath, and the best thing they can do for them is to take them outside and away from the crowd.

That is also why other kinds of crowded places may not be a problem for the Empath. Malls, plaza’s, places of fun, movie theatres, etc, generally bring out the good energy in people. Some people love shopping. Others enjoy the entertainment.

Come Christmas time or a major holiday, there will be many who are pushed for time, stressed, short of money and feeling obliged to make a purchase.  Their emotions will be running high, especially when they are with a family of tired and cranky children. That is when it’s wise to avoid such crowds.

I can’t help but wonder… do people really enjoy parties? What do they get out of it?

Being with others who they can connect to. Isn’t that enough? They may not even be happy or enjoy being there, but they are with others and they can try and forget about feeling lonely and alone, at least for a little while.

So, any advice on how to cope in crowds?

Remember, the key to controlling your empathy is being grounded. The key to being grounded is your self-confidence. If you are not feeling like you belong somewhere, you will certainly not enjoy the experience. You will feel like an intruder or an outsider. 

Most Empaths who can’t tolerate crowds stay as long as they feel is politely possible, and then make their exit. They believe they will offend the host, or maybe the guest, so they hang around.

Sometimes it’s just wise to explain that you don’t function well in such situations, and you need to leave. If they don’t understand or accept this, then really, you’re better off without such people in your life. You will always feel alone, even in the most crowded place.

Yes, but remember, when you’re with friends, or with a partner, that’s not always an option. And that does not mean those people aren’t good for you in other circumstances.

That is so, however, remember they should allow for such things. If you explain you can’t cope, then that is just you being you. If they can’t tolerate that, then you are better off without them.

Remember, the more you are you, the more others will find you because you are what they are looking for.

As always, I will suggest a Bach Flower Remedy that helps.

Elm is the remedy for feeling overwhelmed, and that certainly can be useful when you’re hit with all those energy from a crowd.  

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Empath Series – Bach flower remedy: More on Elm or what else does it do?


English elm tree, Ulmus procera, at the Morton...

I thought I’d continue on with the remedy Elm today.

There are many levels to each remedy, and Elm certainly is no exception.

If anyone has any requests on what remedy can help what, let me know and I’ll feature it sooner than later.

The Symptoms of an Elm type:

  • Temporarily loss of confidence in doing a job one is capable of.
  • Despondency.
  • Feels overwhelmed by too many tasks.
  • Exhaustion
  • A sense of panic that there is too much to do.
  • Self-esteem may be affected.

The Elm type is one who is very capable of doing a job, and doing it well. They have tenacity, endurance, and intelligence.

Sometimes they stress because they suddenly feel they cannot accomplish the task set before them.

This can be due to too much pressure, or exhaustion. 

Often an Elm type can be heard to say ‘I don’t know how I’m going to get this done.’, however, they always manage to get it done in the end, and breathe a sigh of relief… until the next time, which is often the next day.

Parents who are trying to look after their children often feel exhausted, and as there is no foreseeable solution (as you can’t exactly shut your children out, nor would you really want to) it’s a daily battle.

Also, there is the carer who looks after their sick relatives, and has no time for their own lives. So much to do, and so little time to get it done in.

Elm can be a great help in these type of circumstances. 

This remedy is especially useful when you have too many tasks coming in and too many interruptions.

The empath has another level to consider. That is being overwhelmed by many feelings at the same time. This may happen in crowds or parties or even world events such as elections, disasters or incidences where emotions run high. It’s made even worse when you have several friends who are all going through a bad time.

One of the traits of an empath is that they can’t handle being at parties, in a mall or at a large festival or celebration, such as new year’s eve, where alcohol and energies fly about like there’s no tomorrow.

Elm is the remedy that helps you cope with all waves of things that threaten to overwhelm you. Taking Elm will help you cope with the stress and the feeling of panic and the belief that you can’t cope. It will aid you in calming and centring your emotions and thoughts and get through the busy times where too much is really going on.

Empath Series – Bach flower remedy: Elm – The remedy for being overwhelmed or I dropped the eggs.


elmOne of the complaints from Empaths that I hear a lot is that they often feel overwhelmed by too many feelings and emotions.

So much so, it drives them nuts. It is a very real problem, and causes all kinds of issues, including psychic burnout.

You might liken it to one of those old egg catching games from the early 1980s. Eggs would come from four different directions, and you would catch them. Over the course of the game, they would get faster and faster. Let three eggs fall and it was game over.

Depending on your skill and stamina, you could last a long time but eventually fatigue would kick in, and you’d drop the eggs, normally in rapid succession.

To take it a step further, it also can be likened to doing too many jobs at work when you’re short staffed, or understaffed. Unless you are amazingly skilled, you will eventually hit a point where you suddenly no longer are coping, and just going through the motions.

Mistakes happen and you collapse into a heap, exhausted and sick.

230px-MickeyMouse

This is what it can be like for the Empath on a daily basis. They are hit by too many energies all at once and they go into a toxic, psychic overload where it literally hurts to even think.

To make matters worse, the people around them tend to get angry that their demands aren’t being met, and put additional pressure on the Empath. If there is any protest, they will ask to ignore everyone… but themselves.

Psychic burnout can and often does lead to long term illnesses and mental breakdowns.

Fortunately for the Empath, the Bach Flower Remedy, Elm, will help with those feelings of too much, too soon, too overwhelming.

When taking it, the sense of panic and exhaustion lifts, and a sense of calm and organization tends to take its place.

Elm is a remedy worth keeping in the Empath’s first aid kit. It also works well with Oak (when someone is pushed past their limits) and Olive (long and short term exhaustion.)

It’s saved my bacon on a number of occasions!