I am not an animal, I’m a human being… or am I?

English: The Phoenix Firebird Deutsch: Der Pho...

Over the years, I’ve notice that people, in general, tend to react to me in various ways.

I seem to make many of them uneasy. Some instantly hate me (even if we never spoke) and some just seem to click with me. Not too many seem to be indifference to me.

Someone made a comment to me the other day that I don’t seem human at times.

It was an interesting comment that made me think.

Fact is: I’ve never felt ‘human’. By that, I mean, I’ve never felt I’ve fitted in. Even growing up, I couldn’t connect to others. I didn’t appear to have the same type of filters my peers and family did.

I didn’t have the same interest or awareness that other appeared to have. I spent most of the time in my mind and was often yelled at for being oblivious. (As though yelling was going to change that.)

As I grew older, I tried to fit in, but it just looked awkward and I felt there was always this invisible barrier between me and everyone else. I was always the odd person out and never invited to parties or to hang out with others.

When I did try to make the effort to mix, it just didn’t work.

I could put it down to my family life, which was traumatic, but lots of others had that, too, and they functioned with their peers just fine.

I made friends once I hit 16 years of age and seemed to be accepted more, however I still did not fit in. In fact, it got worse. I was labelled as weird, but at the same time, more and more people were drawn to me.  Some of them were almost obsessed with me.

Throughout it all, I never felt like I belonged. I felt terribly alone, and was always on the lookout for soul family members. That is: people who were not my blood family, but connected to me.

I don’t know how, but I knew they were out there, but how I was to find them eluded me.

When it comes down to it, I don’t think I feel what being human would feel like. I don’t experience lust and addictions, (unless you count chocolate). I have no interest in clubs, pubs, drinking, drugs, gangs, groups, etc. I don’t even see death in the same way others do.  Never have.

I did try. I would go to parties, joined my friends at nightclubs, tried discos (back in the 70s) and even went to a pub or two.

All were torture.

It’s hard for an Empath to describe what it’s like, but imagine yourself in a plastic bubble that is being buffeted by high winds from all direction. Add to that an inflatable hood that’s over your head, and the pressure is pumped up too high.  So you feel blocked off but overwhelmed. You can’t really function and the best you can do is nod and smile when someone tries to talk to you.

That’s how it is for me. It’s doubly worse because I didn’t have any interest in being in those places in the first place, but thought I should try them. I thought, hey, maybe it will be fun. It wasn’t. All I wanted to do was get the hell out at the first opportunity.

I always wondered to myself, do people actually enjoy these things? Are they really having a good time? What draws them back night after night? I didn’t understand back then and I still don’t understand today.

I’m sure I’m not alone here. There are people who class themselves as Otherkin and some who believe they are Starseeds.  And though I’ve never seen myself as those things, I certainly fit most of the signs they mention.

Being human is more than just being in a human body. At least, that’s what I feel.

How many reading this have felt the same way? Please feel free to comment.


I had this experience the other day or did I…?

Fraser Illusion


We are so ready to dismiss them.

Sometimes you experience something that feels very strong at the time, but when you come away from it, you wonder if you were just making it all up or you were mistaken.

I get this a lot. In fact, I can imagine my guides’ frustration as I tend to go back and forth on experiences which seem to fade in my memory almost as soon as they are done.


Maybe it’s because I have a really poor memory or part of me still has trouble accepting that the unbelievable is real. Or perhaps it’s fear that my ego is out of control and making it all up.

Either way, it’s frustrating: Very frustrating.

My own experiences are so unreal that after the event that I can’t even tell people about them. It’s as though I shift into another frame of mind.

What feels so compelling at the time will feel like someone who is out for attention.

I have to wonder, though: Can I afford to keep this up? Personally, I don’t think so. Personally, I feel that it’s time to stop doubting and just lay my cards on the table.

What bothers me  is that I’ve seen so many others do the same.

What they tell others seemed like rubbish to me. I’m not even sure if  they did experience something or if they just really just fooled themselves into believing their story.

Their stories just didn’t sound real. Or ring true.

While I didn’t sneer or call them out on those things, it did hurt their credibility, at least in my eyes and for those around them.

Then, on the other hand, there are certainly plenty of people for whom I accepted their stories and experiences without a second thought.

What is the difference between those I believe and those I don’t?

I feel, that in the end, it comes down to if you feel the resonance of truth behind their words.

As an Empath, I can sense if something is true or not. If it isn’t true, I will feel anger, antsy and extreme annoyance. (For instance, something I felt about a recently departed so called psychic and many who are still living and in the same line of work.)

In the end, you can only tell your story and trust that those who hear it will listen to their feelings and judge if it’s true or not.

I was going to write about an experience I had last week end, but ended up heading in another direction. So I’ll leave that for another entry.

So, how do others handle this conundrum? Do you believe what you experiences? Do you feel you can tell others? Have people believed you?

Please feel free to comment.

Our children: Possessions or resources?

Today is a minor rant on how I see too many parents treating their children.

It is said the children are our greatest resources.  There’s certainly a lot of truth to that, and like many resources, children tend to get exploited by their parents or caretakers.

I’ve not had my own flesh and blood baby at this point in my life, (however I did bring up my step daughter from the age of nine for 7 years) so I speak on partial experience and my own philosophy in regards to this subject.

I believe that the child chooses their parents.  The choice is made based on what they want to experience and need to accomplish n this life.

I know that I chose my ones very deliberately in this life. (Though next time I choose to incarnate in this world, someone give me a good swift kick to bring me to my senses!)

What I observe over and over again is that many parents act like they own their children. They feel they have the absolute right to dictate their life.

  • Who they should be.
  • What they should do.
  • Who they should marry.
  • What they may or may not do.
  • If they have children or not.

And so on.

And many of these children are now adults in their 30s!

At what point do we stop using children as possessions and extensions of what we believe our lives should be like?

Personally, I believe that we are caretakers for our children. We do our best to provide a safe environment for them to grow up in, and give them the tools, wisdom, knowledge and experiences so that they can grow up being themselves: Hopefully healthy and well adjusted.

Yes, boundaries should be set and yes, we should be ever vigilant on their activities.

But we should not try to mould them into our image.

In fact, by attempting to do so, you may well end up with someone who is rebellious, neurotic or full of guilt. (Not to mention a high level empath!)

Our children are our greatest resource. Let us be their greatest resource, too.

Thought of the moment – The radiant light of the soul

A powerful light shines in the dark.

Short one today.

I felt a pull to post this quote because I feel someone needs to read it.

The light of our being.

It is a problem that much of the human race has.

They have reduced their light by denying it.

Some do it because they do not believe in it.

Some do it out of fear and many do it because they believe that it is arrogant to believe themselves to be amazing beings of light with the creative energy of God.

Arrogance is believing you have the answers when you do not.

Being a being of love is not arrogance, but an expression of who we really are.

The expression of love and the showing of our light is where we should be headed.

The acknowledgement of our oneness and our connection with the all is where true healing will take place.

We are reaching a time where more and more will know this to be true. Over time, it will manifest as a reality. 

My occasional rants: Customer Service in Australia or stop bsing me.

Dick Smith_109For those who don’t know, I live in Australia. It’s been a wonderful place for me to live, though lately we’re going downhill with our standard of living. (Though we still have wonderful conditions.)

One of the things that drive me nuts here, though, is our standard of service.

As long as I can remember, if a sales person doesn’t know the answer, they will simply just bullshit you, and the standard answer is:  We don’t have it so it doesn’t exist.

I’ve had this phrase said to me on many, many occasions, only to walk into a different store and find exactly what I was looking for.

This drives me crazy. Poor product knowledge is inexcusable, especially in an economy that is going south, and a culture where people are buying online because they can’t get the service they need.

This frustrating experience was, once again, ignited when I decided I wanted to upgrade my webcam.

Right now, I’m toying with doing something on Youtube and I wanted something that was good quality.

My only deal breaker was that it had to be able to be mounted on a tripod.

Now, as you may know, webcams are designed to sit on top of your computer monitor and generally don’t have the screw thread hole built in as a rule.

So I walked into Dick Smith on Friday, which is our Australian geek store and they had the Logitech webcams on special for 40% off, which brought the price down to below what I could get them online.

I told the sales staff what I was after, and was told no webcam they knew of could be tripod mounted. So I left to do more research.

The next day, I drove up to a plaza I knew well (Werribee Plaza in Hoppers Crossing), I went into a camera store and was told that they weren’t aware of any tripod that fitted any webcam. That was excusable as they don’t sell webcams, but they also lost out on any sale.

I then went into two stores. JB Hi-fi, and the Dick Smith there and once again asked the same questions, only to be told what I was looking for didn’t exist.

webcamI decided to go ahead and buy one of the webcams anyway. It was a good price and I decided that if worst came to worse, I’d just make do. I bought a Logitech C920 (pictured) and figured I could just stick it to mini tripod with double sided tape or something.

When I opened up the package to look at it, I found that it had the thread hole for mounting. I was thrilled, but once again feeling frustrated with the lack of knowledge and bull that sales people have in this country.

So this is a call to all our Australian businesses.

Take a moment to find out if something you have can do what the client wants. Every time you don’t, you lose a sale and I will not be returning to your store. I would rather buy online, even if it cost me more. 

Don’t claim products can do things that they can’t. That’s actually illegal in this country.

Don’t ignore your customers when they are looking for service. Too many times I have searched in vain for someone to help me.

When you do serve them, act as though you are at least competent or interested in me. Stop trying to fob me off at the earliest opportunity.

Do not bullshit me. I am not stupid.I will find out the truth, and I will never return to your store..

The media has been rife with retailers complaining that they are losing business to the net, and there should be a tax on products under a thousand dollars.

I don’t care if it cost twice as much online. If your service sucks, then I will not be your customer.

Once you had the advantage that we were isolated  on a very large island, and there was no competition.

This is no longer the case. I now have options and I will use them.

Stop whining about being hard done by and start looking after your customers. If you don’t, then you simply won’t be around to do so eventually.

As for the webcam, I am very happy with it.

Should we use labels to define others or Don’t call me human!

Labels A number of times, when I’ve mentioned that someone is an Empath, they say it’s a label, and they don’t like using labels.

As it goes, I’m ambivalent about if this is really an issue.

The question I have is: How do you define something without a label? If people refused to be categorized then how can they identify who they are, and what they can do?

Fact is, everything is a label. Defining your gender requires a label.

If you specialize in something, it requires a label. For instance, if someone is a medical practitioner, you would call them a ‘doctor’, which is a label. They would hardly say, don’t call me ‘doctor’ because you’re labelling me. At least you would hope they wouldn’t as you want to know who is a doctor so you would know who to see if you have health issues.

Race, abilities, body type, hobbies, professions, skills and everything requires some kind of definition and like it or not, we use labels all the time because no one would have a clue what we’re talking about unless we use some agreed on definition that gives us a point of reference.

If someone has the signs and traits of an Empath, it is easier to say, you may be an Empath than go into the dozens of abilities they may have, probably losing them about a third of the way in. I feel labels are fine.

The thing I feel should be avoided is stereotyping people because of using a label. It’s like saying, you’re a male (labelling) and all men are bastards (stereotyping). (Whereas, there may be some who might not be. 🙂 )

Also, problems arise when they are used as a means to degrade others, however that is more an issue of bullying and attacking rather than defining.

Labelling helps us to define, and gives us an agreed standard on which to discuss a topic on. Next time someone objects to being defined by means of a label, ask them how they would do it then and see if they can come up with a reasonable response.

Anyone have any thoughts on this subject?

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