Tag Archive | Spirituality

Should we charge for our services or make room for my ego. (part 4)

English: Storefront Psychic fortuneteller in D...

Now, the original question I posed in the previous entry was: Does accepting money for using our psychic gifts deplete them?

I was taught that yes, it certainly does, however after many years of observation, I believe that no, it doesn’t.

As mentioned, money is a tool and there is nothing wrong with being paid for a service you provide.

But, you may ask, what about all those stories about people who lose their power once they start charging?

In my own case, in the mid 90s, in my attempt to grow and heal myself, I saw a couple of psychic healers.

At the time, it was $60.00 a session, which was a fair amount for me back then and I saw them at least once a week. (Though one was in 1995 and the other in 1996.)

Both were very impressive when I started going to them, but by the end, they made me feel like I was just a cash cow. (Though the second one I only saw her for three months.)

Nothing really got resolved and their system was set up so that no matter what you did, it could be taken as a negative or a problem to be fixed.

For instance, the first one I saw had this system where at the beginning of each session, I had to pick four cards from the Californian Flower Essence range. She used that as what needed to be done for that session.

However, as I made progress, she did not stop using it, and I realized that no matter what happened, being forced to choose four cards was always going to suggest I had problems that needed to be fixed.

She also become more invalidating and egotistical as the year went on, and in the end, my intuition screamed at me to get out and stop going.

Being an Empath, I found this very hard to do at the time as part of me felt guilty about it, and didn’t want to offend, , but one day she told me that I wasn’t a spiritual person on a spiritual path, and I knew that was my last session. After all, I had pretty much dedicated my life to the pursuit of knowledge and helping everyone I could.

As it was, I had another psychic healer who I was going to see, who happened to be an old family acquaintance who told me she could help me, and so I agreed.

In fact, while I know this lady was very psychic, it turned out that she  was after my powers. She told me I was powerful and and she made several attempts to try and convince me to board with her in her house and become her student.

My intuition also gave a very strong ‘no’ to this, and she became angry and offended.

As negative as those experiences ended being, though, they were critical to my path, and timing was everything  so certainly no regrets.

What it did teach me was that the more success these people seemed to have, the more their ego appeared to take over.

They could admit no wrong. They could not be told that something might not be right. They certainly weren’t happy to listen to anything I might have to say, and both would attempt to invalidate what I was feeling.

I’ve seen plenty of good psychics and healers  who do charge, and they are genuine and while they certainly don’t always get it right, they are sincere, and do provide the information they need to when they need to. (On an interesting note, those people offered their readings to me for free, which was appreciated at the time.)

Being humble (not falsely humble, which is irritating), trying to help and lift others, and not separating yourself out as special and better will prevent losing any gifts and abilities you have.

If you don’t know the answer to a question, then just say so. It might not be what they want to hear, but it will be what they need to hear.

If you were wrong and they tell you, then accept it. You can justify your reading six ways from Sunday, but all that does it hurt your powers and bring such things into disrepute.

There are already too many scammers out there on the market and they already do more harm to our credibility than you can imagine.

Sceptics are having a field day and dismissing us all as frauds, charlatans and self-deluded kooks. And I don’t blame them.

Stay true to yourself. It doesn’t matter if you charge or not. What matter is that you’re honest and you don’t let your ego take over.

Next: What if nobody took anything for anything?


10 Spiritually Transmitted Diseases (reposted from The Huffington Post)

I don’t normally just repost articles, but right now, I’m on leave, and very slow with my writings, and I saw this one that I felt was well worth sharing from The Huffington Post.



It is a jungle out there, and it is no less true about spiritual life than any other aspect of life. Do we really think that just because someone has been meditating for five years, or doing 10 years of yoga practice, that they will be any less neurotic than the next person? At best, perhaps they will be a little bit more aware of it. A little bit.

It is for this reason that I spent the last 15 years of my life researching and writing books on cultivating discernment on the spiritual path in all the gritty areas–power, sex, enlightenment, gurus, scandals, psychology, neurosis — as well as earnest, but just plain confused and unconscious, motivations on the path. My partner (author and teacher Marc Gafni) and I are developing a new series of books, courses and practices to bring further clarification to these issues.

Several years ago, I spent a summer living and working in South Africa. Upon my arrival I was instantly confronted by the visceral reality that I was in the country with the highest murder rate in the world, where rape was common and more than half the population was HIV-positive — men and women, gays and straights alike.

As I have come to know hundreds of spiritual teachers and thousands of spiritual practitioners through my work and travels, I have been struck by the way in which our spiritual views, perspectives and experiences become similarly “infected” by “conceptual contaminants” — comprising a confused and immature relationship to complex spiritual principles can seem as invisible and insidious as a sexually transmitted disease.

The following 10 categorizations are not intended to be definitive but are offered as a tool for becoming aware of some of the most common spiritually transmitted diseases.

1. Fast-Food Spirituality: Mix spirituality with a culture that celebrates speed, multitasking and instant gratification and the result is likely to be fast-food spirituality. Fast-food spirituality is a product of the common and understandable fantasy that relief from the suffering of our human condition can be quick and easy. One thing is clear, however: spiritual transformation cannot be had in a quick fix.

2. Faux Spirituality: Faux spirituality is the tendency to talk, dress and act as we imagine a spiritual person would. It is a kind of imitation spirituality that mimics spiritual realization in the way that leopard-skin fabric imitates the genuine skin of a leopard.

3. Confused Motivations: Although our desire to grow is genuine and pure, it often gets mixed with lesser motivations, including the wish to be loved, the desire to belong, the need to fill our internal emptiness, the belief that the spiritual path will remove our suffering and spiritual ambition, the wish to be special, to be better than, to be “the one.”

4. Identifying with Spiritual Experiences: In this disease, the ego identifies with our spiritual experience and takes it as its own, and we begin to believe that we are embodying insights that have arisen within us at certain times. In most cases, it does not last indefinitely, although it tends to endure for longer periods of time in those who believe themselves to be enlightened and/or who function as spiritual teachers.

5. The Spiritualized Ego: This disease occurs when the very structure of the egoic personality becomes deeply embedded with spiritual concepts and ideas. The result is an egoic structure that is “bullet-proof.” When the ego becomes spiritualized, we are invulnerable to help, new input, or constructive feedback. We become impenetrable human beings and are stunted in our spiritual growth, all in the name of spirituality.

6. Mass Production of Spiritual Teachers: There are a number of current trendy spiritual traditions that produce people who believe themselves to be at a level of spiritual enlightenment, or mastery, that is far beyond their actual level. This disease functions like a spiritual conveyor belt: put on this glow, get that insight, and — bam! — you’re enlightened and ready to enlighten others in similar fashion. The problem is not that such teachers instruct but that they represent themselves as having achieved spiritual mastery.

7. Spiritual Pride: Spiritual pride arises when the practitioner, through years of labored effort, has actually attained a certain level of wisdom and uses that attainment to justify shutting down to further experience. A feeling of “spiritual superiority” is another symptom of this spiritually transmitted disease. It manifests as a subtle feeling that “I am better, more wise and above others because I am spiritual.”

8. Group Mind: Also described as groupthink, cultic mentality or ashram disease, group mind is an insidious virus that contains many elements of traditional co-dependence. A spiritual group makes subtle and unconscious agreements regarding the correct ways to think, talk, dress, and act. Individuals and groups infected with “group mind” reject individuals, attitudes, and circumstances that do not conform to the often unwritten rules of the group.

9. The Chosen-People Complex: The chosen people complex is not limited to Jews. It is the belief that “Our group is more spiritually evolved, powerful, enlightened and, simply put, better than any other group.” There is an important distinction between the recognition that one has found the right path, teacher or community for themselves, and having found The One.

10. The Deadly Virus: “I Have Arrived”: This disease is so potent that it has the capacity to be terminal and deadly to our spiritual evolution. This is the belief that “I have arrived” at the final goal of the spiritual path. Our spiritual progress ends at the point where this belief becomes crystallized in our psyche, for the moment we begin to believe that we have reached the end of the path, further growth ceases.

“The essence of love is perception,” according to the teachings of Marc Gafni, “Therefore the essence of self love is self perception. You can only fall in love with someone you can see clearly–including yourself. To love is to have eyes to see. It is only when you see yourself clearly that you can begin to love yourself.”

It is in the spirit of Marc’s teaching that I believe that a critical part of learning discernment on the spiritual path is discovering the pervasive illnesses of ego and self-deception that are in all of us. That is when we need a sense of humor and the support of real spiritual friends. As we face our obstacles to spiritual growth, there are times when it is easy to fall into a sense of despair and self-diminishment and lose our confidence on the path. We must keep the faith, in ourselves and in others, in order to really make a difference in this world.

Adapted from Eyes Wide Open: Cultivating Discernment on the Spiritual Path (Sounds True)

Empath Series – Psychic attacks. More ways to ward off attacks or should I pay for help?

This picture depicts the seven major Chakras w...

Psychic defense. Final thoughts.


One of the things I’ve noticed with people who are under psychic attack is that their chakras (the body’s energy centres) are way too open.

When a chakra is in that state, too much energy flows in and it can be overwhelming. The high level empath will often be vulnerable because their third eye will be over active and I believe our empathic powers come from that chakra.

You can balance your chakras, and adjust them by visualizing a lotus flower turning anti-clockwise with the petals closing.

I won’t get into the details here, but there are website that are dedicated to how to do this, complete with what colours to use, and what sounds resonate with the chakras.


Burning white sage is said to be very effective at clearing negative energies. This is called smudging, and can be used to clear a house or your aura.

Paying psychics for protection.

I’m sure there are plenty of people and so called psychics that will tell you that you are under a curse or under attack, and they will happily remove it… for a price.  Beware of those people. They will happily milk you of your hard earned money without producing any real results.

Never pay anyone to protect you from a psychic attack or remove an evil spell from you!. Those who do it for money are unlikely to have the power to help in the first place and more likely than not, have not even picked up on if you really are under attack. It may be just a lucky guess!

I remember once I visited L.A. and out of interest, I visited this psychic lady who advertised on the street. She told me people at work were plotting against me, and if I had faith and trust in her, we could work together and overcome it. I nodded in agreement while thinking, if she’s that good, you’d think she’d know I’m only here for the day. She was clearly a con artist trying to draw me in by methods of fear. In all probability, the work place will contain people who give you trouble so it’s a high chance of success of them guessing right.

Even if they are genuine, I believe that it’s not actually the money that reduces your vibrations or ability to heal, but your intentions and ego. If your intention is to make money, then so shall it be, but normally at the cost of your ability to heal. If your intention is to heal, then so you shall, but you might not automatically make money. It very much depends on what your attitude is towards money. Is it something ‘bad’ or is it simply a tool to help get what you desire? (check your belief system on that subject.)

There are also psychics who are actually very good at what they do, but then, ego takes over, especially when they have great success to start with. They make the mistake of believing they are somehow better than others, and jealousy, and elitism may also come into play. They may also become vulnerable to negative entities, who then can mess with their results.

I don’t have a lot of good things to say about psychic healers. Yes, there are some out there which can indeed heal, and there are some out there who are very psychic and do have powers. My experience has been that despite their obvious powers, many of them forget they are just a channel for healing and ego and false humility sets in. Also be wary of those who call themselves ‘Master’. ‘Master is a term of separation and I believe a true Master will be humble and will not refer to himself as such, or let others call him that title.

The same goes for those who are self-proclaimed prophets. (And yet, seem to have turned that into a business.)


There is a school of thought (which I subscribe to) that says that nothing can happen to us unless we agree to participate on some level. If you believe in this, then this means that you have agreed to the attack. The reasons why may be as simple as that these attacks make your stronger, help you to experience who you are and to grow as a person and soul.

More importantly, they can help reveal your weak points, and lead you down paths that you would never have gone down without those attacks.

I know, I certainly wouldn’t be where I am if my life had been attack free.

Psychic attacks can be a real pain, and can really bring a life to a complete stop, and perhaps even destroy it. Never give into the temptation to fight back, and try and avoid being a victim, as that just adds to the problems.

Remember, there are many ways to deal with them that are gentle and safe.

Ask for help. It will come. And when it does, make sure you listen, and take it. 

Depression series – Empaths and Anger or My depression is making me very angry.


Anger, while not actually a type of depression, can often be triggered by depression. This is an article on the type of anger that empaths tend to suffer from.

Empaths, particularly those who are on the spiritual path, tend to repress their anger.
This is extremely unhealthy.

There is this stream of thought that states that spiritual people do not get angry. I understand that in some religions and cultures that even thinking anything negative is forbidden.

There is a  perception that we should always be love, peace and joy and not allow such emotions to come up, otherwise how can we claim to be a good person, or a spiritual one?

While I can understand that we should try to avoid giving energy to negative thoughts, denying them is not the way to do it. In fact, all it does it make them fester and grow stronger.

Remember, what you resist, persists and what you look at, bring into the light and make your own will no longer have any power over you and disappear.

But anger is anger. Just denying it doesn’t make it go away. It needs to be dealt with, and you can’t do that by refusing to acknowledge it.

Repressing anger produces harmful negative effects.
We become angry at not allowing ourselves to be angry in the first place, and then we supress that, which in turn creates more anger. It’s a vicious cycle.

This can lead to several things.

A great amount of repressed anger.
A psychic pain around the third eye. By psychic, I mean it’s not physical pain, but a mental, sharp pain, like someone sticking an ethereal knife into that area.
Episodes where you suddenly feel that you want to take a weapon of some kind, and use it on anything that seems to be in your way.  Such thoughts such as, ‘kill ’em all’ might be typically going through your mind.
You are afraid to let go of your anger, because you fear the outcome of it.

Such repressed anger not only has a toxic effect, but it may lead to explosive events, such as road rage. It may be the quiet person who snaps and everyone says, I never would have suspected they would do something like that.

Anger is borne from fear and when we a lot of fear it may become malignant.

Expressing anger is healthy. Just don’t hold onto it once you have done so. Empaths tend to worry about the consequences of showing their anger. They believe they will drive others away, or enter into a confrontation they do not want.

While both may lead to such things, there are ways to express anger without being violent, or abusive, or demeaning about it.

Express how you feel and letting others know that this is something you need to do and let out is one method.

Many people are angry in the moment. However, once they have said their piece, they will let it go and forget about it the next moment. Their anger is in the moment and rarely lasts beyond that.

The problem with expressing your anger is that while it is healthy, those who you are expressing it to sometimes can’t let it go. Your words and your reactions will haunt them. Some will hang onto it and let it fester, becoming angry in their own turn.

This is why it’s vitally important to never get personal with someone. Once you start doing that, you will become lost in a cycle of incriminations and accusations that do no one any good and only end up hurting both parties in the end.

No one ever wins such arguments. Generally, all you end up doing is walking away, and stewing over it in your mind, thinking of the injustice of it all until the next time things explode.

If you are able to do so, there are things worth bearing in mind.

Take people in the moment.

We are not our pasts. Yes, they define who we are right now, but remember to take people in the moment. Don’t force them into a pattern they may not wish to be in any longer.  People can, and do change if they are working to do so.  However, do not confuse this with someone who you want to change, but is unwilling to shift. Such people will keep you in your own patterns, which is not healthy.

Do not get personal.

When you get personal, or attack someone on a personal level, you will have lost your case. Once you put someone on the defensive, they will defend and there it is unlikely they will hear what you are really trying to say, because they are too busy trying to prove their own case.

Many people have a strongly defined sense of right and wrong. They generally consider their actions to be ‘right’, which is always based on their belief system and how they view the world. Anyone who has a differing view is considered as ‘wrong’.

Interestingly enough, the other party will have the same type of model of their own world. They feel they are right and anyone who they don’t agree with is wrong.

However, right and wrong are strictly relative things, and in the greater reality, they don’t exist. What is right today may become wrong tomorrow, and what is right tomorrow may have been wrong today.  We, as individuals and as a society keep on changing right and wrong as we go along.

Really, though, there is no such thing. Right and wrong are quite individual. Right can be best described as something that takes you closer to who you wish to be and wrong as something that takes you further away.

As everyone has different goals, to try and fit everyone into one belief system just doesn’t work. Just because they do not agree with your views, it doesn’t mean they are wrong. It is simply another perspective.  The true gift is that you get to see another way you may not have considered. You might not agree with it, at least not at that point of time, but acknowledge it, accept it, bless it and let it go.

I could get more holistic here, but the point I’m trying to make is that our anger at someone generally tends to be a difference in belief systems. Most of the time, there is something going on that we aren’t aware of so it’s best not to make judgements unless you have all the facts; and those we don’t always get.

If we can express anger in a calm and healthy way, and explain to whoever we are talking to that this is what I am feeling, and while I don’t expect you to agree with it, I want you to at least hear me and understand, it can help a lot.

The other thing to make clear is that you’re not looking to be fixed. You’re not looking for solutions and you certainly don’t want to be told what you should do in order to resolve the situation. You just want to express yourself. If you want answers, you will ask for them.

Too many of us, especially empaths, are ‘fixer uppers’. We feel we have the answers, and in many cases we do… for ourselves.

If asked, we best just share our own experiences and perspectives, and say that this is what works for me. Try it if you wish.

We might be spiritual being, but we are having a human experience and with that comes all the emotions that us humans have. If you feel anger, express it in a healthy way. Do not repress it. In the long term, there will be health problems by doing so.

If you’re wondering how to not be angry or how to overcome your anger, I’ve personally found that shifting your perspectives and understanding others points of views goes a long way to helping.

Generally, if we don’t want to see another person’s point of view, it means we have a vested interest in denying it and that’s alright. What we may want for ourselves may not be what others want for us.

We may need to fight for what we desire and I believe that’s best done by convincing the other parties that it’s in their own interest to give us what we want.

Of course, this is not an inclusive list of how to deal with anger, or the reasons for anger.  They are simply my own observations and experiences.  I hope it helps.

Bach Flower Remedies:

Holly is the remedy for anger. Cherry Plum is the remedy for fear of letting go