As mentioned the presence of the staircase had vanished one morning, and Shawn and I were there messing around, trying to work out why. Rather foolishly, I might add, as we had no clue what we were doing. I guess we were feeling disappointed that it had gone as it had been rather exciting.
The painting of the red face was hung between the middle landing, and I honestly did not like it. It made me feel uneasy. We looked at the it and I suddenly decided I didn’t like it at all. I felt it would be better if I went and turned it around. There was no logical reason why I thought that would be worth doing, but at least I knew I wouldn’t have to look at it. However, Shawn decided that it needed to be turned around the correct way. He might have just being contrary for the sake of it, so I asked him why had he turned it back over. Did he like it?
He said, no, it just needed to be up the right way. He had to put it like that. I once again went to turn it over but he held me back so I left it along. In hindsight, maybe I should have just removed it when he wasn’t looking. On the other hand, I doubt it would have changed anything.
Between band practices, Shawn became more and more drawn to the stairs. He would ask me to come along. Normally I would, but after a few more times, I started to feel it was time to let this thing go and I told him no. I wasn’t sure what was really going on, but part of me was now saying: this is enough.
But Shawn said he felt he had to go there. He indicated he was compelled to so do, and when I asked if he could resist the urge, he couldn’t or didn’t want to and went through the doors.
I must admit, I, too, felt something drawing me there. Not sure if it was curiosity, or something more. There was one moment where I was alone in the dorm, and I suddenly felt something pulling at me. I could have resisted, but I didn’t. Part of me was curious as to what was happening. Truth was, I was fascinated with the whole thing, and wondered how true it was, and how far things might go. What is something tangible manifested itself. That would be a story worth telling others. Even though those were my motivations, I had not really defined them at the point of time. All I knew was that I was feeling compelled, and I was going to play the game.
So, I got up from the bed, and slowly, almost like I was in a trance like state, made my way towards the doors. I could have snapped out of it at any time, but I was choosing not to.
I was about to enter the staircase, when someone walked in from behind and broke the spell. The feeling suddenly left and I turned away, and went back to my bed. Five minutes later, Shawn walked in and asked if I wanted to go down the stairs with him. I was still amiable to the idea, and I agreed. We went down to the first landing and stopped. I suddenly felt very uneasy, and decided to leave.
Shawn said, no, stay here.
“You can,” I said, “but I’m going.”
And so I did. As I walked back out, I fancied I heard a voice in my mind say “Now I’ve got rid of you, now for Shawn.’
At that moment, Shawn claimed he suddenly felt weak in the legs and he nearly passed out. He did not look good when he came back through the doors a minute later. The urge to return still was present, so I decided to just leave the dorm.
The thing about that thought in my mind made, in hindsight, no sense. If, whatever it was didn’t want me there, then why compel me? Did it just want just one of there alone? Did it want me or Shawn or both? Did I just think it to myself?
The only reason I mentioned it was because of the fact of what happened to Shawn at the same moment I heard it.
That’s the thing about thoughts in your mind. Some of them do come from you, even if you’re not consciously thinking them. Some of them do appear to be from other sources, too, but I’ve have my fair share of random thoughts that lead nowhere, and I’ve certainly have my fair share of thoughts that later proved to be true.
Of all the things I experience, I’d say the thoughts in your mind are the ones that need to be the most scrutinized. Never accept them on faith that they are from another source, but on the other hand, don’t just dismiss them either.
Next: Mirror mirror.