Tag Archive | Religion and Spirituality

Personal experiences: Part 5 – Possessed or Q and A with the Devil.

Statesboro High School

This is a six part story about a paranormal event that occurred in January 1980. As usual, it’s told without any embellishments and according to a document that I had written after the event.

The next morning as I was going down the stairs, I felt that the chain that the cross was on grow hot. It was an odd sensation. It was a definite heat, though I guess I could have been imagining it, too.

Shawn told me that every time he saw the cross, he had the urge to get me to take it off. Indeed, he insisted that I should take it off. Every time I went down the stairs, I felt the chain get heavy, and the urge to take it off come over me. I nearly once did so, but thought better of it.

A bit later on, back up the stairs, I was walking with Shawn towards the doors on the other side of the room when they opened for him. We walked through and they closed behind us. I asked how he did that, as I had felt no wind. He said, he didn’t know. He was just thinking that wouldn’t it be good if the doors opened and they did.

The next day, the temptation to take the cross off was so strong that I actually felt uncomfortable wearing it. The night, Shawn was trying to make me take it off, once again, and I was refusing as usual when he suddenly doubled up in what he said was an agonizing pain. The thought that I should give the cross to him entered my mind. I asked him if he wanted me to give it to him, and he said, yes. I almost did, but decided against it. With that choice, the pain abruptly stopped. I asked him if he would have worn it and he said: No, moods change, and he wouldn’t have given it back either.

Things become quiet after that for a short while. As I wore the cross, I felt protected. The camp went on and was coming to the end. It was only two weeks, but it felt like a very long two weeks.

On the last day, we were all clearing up after ourselves, and I found myself, ironically, being told to sweep the stairs with Shawn. We discussed what had happened, and I asked him about the voice he heard. I was curious about if I could talk to it and asked some questions. Shawn agreed.

The first thing I asked was if Robert Rice died there, and the answer was he didn’t, nor were his ashes upstairs.

I then asked if this was the Devil. The answer was yes. Had he tried to get me before? Yes, he had and was trying to get me now. I asked, why me? It answered that it had failed before and it didn’t like failing and it was trying to possess me. I asked why me and I was told that I was more vulnerable than other people and I expected him to get me. It also said it had posed as my subconscious mind, pretending to be someone who was helpful. I asked if it was after anybody else at the camp, but it said it only me.

I then asked about the pressure we had felt in the stairs. What was it? He said it was trying to frighten us, and it was a stupid thing to have had the séance. I asked what it was trying to do to Shawn when he said the Lords Prayer backwards. The answer was that It was trying to possess him.

I asked if he had succeeded, but he said, no because he hadn’t done it long enough. He also said that he had possessed many people, but they didn’t know it. They just thought they had a bad temper.

I asked if I was interfering with him and if I was a danger to him. He said yes and I was. It told me that the cross gave me some protection, and so did asking for God’s help, but an imaginary cross was not powerful enough and I couldn’t ask for God’s help all the time and I was most vulnerable when I was asleep. It had decided to use the staircase because I had to use it to get to the bathroom. It had taken over Shawn because he was my friend and was using it as a stepping stone to get to me. It also said that it had blown out the lights.

My mistake had been leaving Shawn on the stairway at that time and telling him about my experiences, which left him open to such things.

I asked a few more questions, but all Shawn was now getting was ‘stop it your bastard!’ I stopped and Shawn came ‘back’. He told me that at first he had let me talk to this thing, but after a few questions, he had lost control and it sounded like two people have a conversation. He also couldn’t remember any of what had been said, something I later found out that this was typical of a channel. He also said that sometimes he was reluctant to answer my questions because he felt he was lying.

With what I know now, many of those answers actually make no sense, nor do they ring true.  My feelings are that it was certainly not the Devil, imagined or otherwise. Also, if Shawn felt he was lying, and he didn’t say which questions were lies, then there’s no reason any of it could have been the truth.

I seriously doubt that any of it was true. If Shawn felt it was a lie, then there is no reason to tell me what was really going on, except to tell me what I thought I wanted to hear, and what it wanted me to hear.

This, of course, does beg the question if any channel you get is true.

I know that when I’m writing documents with the aid of my guide, some things flow amazingly well, and I can sense what feels like a connection, or a corridor. Other things don’t however, and I get a sense of anxiety or frustration and I end up erasing what has been written because I’m clearly not either in the space for writing, or the information I need just isn’t available to me as yet.

Sometimes there is also a tendency to write what you think is true, rather than what comes to you, assuming anything comes at all. It’s a trap that’s easy to fall into, and interestingly enough, those are the things that I find out more later on.

In regards to the entity at the camp, I really haven’t gotten any answers I’m happy with yet. I’ve channelled that it was an opportunistic entity who knew who I was, but… that doesn’t feel completely right. I feel I’m still missing something, even 33 years on.

For me, near enough isn’t good enough, but sometimes it’s all I have at the time.

Next: Afterwards



Paranormal series: Science or fiction or just the facts, ma’am.


Back before the net, it was a lot harder to know what was fact and what was fiction.

For instance, if you went to a health food shop and they told you that the herb Echinacea helped your immune system, you would accept that as a fact.

You really didn’t have many ways to verify that it was true and really, if someone who was in the business of knowing such thing told you this, why would you doubt them? That was their job after all.

I did look up such things in herbal books that were in the metaphysical bookshops, however, they give the same information, so it appeared to validate what I was told.

Trouble is, many things are told to us based on vague or apocryphal information.

It took me years to realize that Echinacea did nothing for me, and it was the vitamin C in the complex that was actually helping and the claim that it helped ended up being based on very shaky evidence.

It does seem that once people believe something, they are very reluctant to change that belief, even in the face of new or overwhelming evidence to the contrary.

Long term readers of mine might know that I used to be an avid follower of Tuesday Lobsang Rampa. Many things felt right and made sense to me, and the rest I would just accept on faith. However, it was the rest that, while clearly wrong, seems to be ignored by his followers.

For instance, he made a lot of predictions about world events that should have occurred by now. From my observations, none of them have actually happened, but that doesn’t seem to bother his fan base, who just seems to completely ignore such things and never call them into question.

Any suggestions that he might be wrong are ignored or met with hostility.

This is generally typical of people who choose to believe in something but refuse to look at any inconsistencies critically.

The question is: Why?

When something is so clearly shown to be wrong, why aren’t people calling such thing into question? When something has inherent contradictions in the philosophy (and I’m looking at many cults, faiths and religions here) why do we resist looking at it or dismiss them as not important?

Just because some parts are wrong, it doesn’t mean it’s all wrong. And just because some parts are right, it doesn’t mean it’s all right.

We stymie our own growth and give our power away to others by refusing to think critically about everything.

You might say, I’m a researcher for the truth, and I use the word ‘truth’ very loosely here because the more I look, the more I see that there are no hard and fast rules, but there are come consistent universal laws that seem to apply to everything.

When I write about something, I write about my own observations and experiences. I’ve always done this, though I have been just as guilty of being dogmatic about a particular belief system, even if there were some blatant inconsistencies there.

Now, I know this type of talk might seem weird or even hypocritical coming from me, as I have written about belief systems, astral levels, alternative time-lines and many other unprovable subjects.

However, I do try and come from a place of observation and research and try to find other alternative explanations.

Next: Adapting to new evidence. 

Creating our reality series: Many belief systems or I thought I was done already!

Español: Patron del Conocimiento Pa Kua o Pa-k...

So, you’ve created your belief system. You’ve written it down and have decided that this is what you want.

Now here comes an interesting thing and I note that I’ve yet to see this mentioned anywhere else.

You have more than one belief system.

Those who read my last entry may well have picked up on that.

There are actually belief systems for everything.

Some examples are:

  • Your religious beliefs
  • Your spiritual beliefs
  • Your beliefs about money.
  • Your physical world beliefs
  • Your belief about your health. (Including that fact we age and die.)
  • Your relationship beliefs
  • Your political beliefs
  • Your economical beliefs
  • Your belief about friendship
  • Your belief about family
  • Your professional beliefs
  • Your sexual beliefs
  • Your beliefs about music

And so on.

In fact, there probably is no limit to how much you can micro-manage your belief system.

If you find that an area in your life is not working for you, redefine it.

Belief systems are the key to creating a joy filled and prosperous life.

Your life is a canvas. Paint a new portrait.

Know that once you do that, you put forces into motion that will make it happen.

The universe never says ‘no’ to your idea about yourself, even if that idea may  be self-destructive.

It also can’t take a joke so be very careful what you wish for because what you put out there on every level is what you end up experiencing.

Free will allows that, but remember there are natural consequences to our actions.

Taoism gives three simple rules to live by.

  • Be humble
  • Be kind
  • Be thrifty.

I would also add:

  • See everyone as an extension of who you are
  • Know that people who wish to hurt you do so out of fear and do not remember who they really are.
  • Make anything you do benefit all. Always chose a win / win scenario and if none exist, call it forth.

You can’t force people to change around you, but you can change your energies, and attract exactly what is needed to make your life the reality you wish it to be.

Next: Final thoughts.

Paranormal experiences series: Defining who we are or I look after my own interests… so what?

From left to right: Snidely Whiplash, Dudley D...

So, we have discussed death, alternative memories, coming back, and parallel worlds.

I also mentioned that this kind of thing happens to us a lot, but we don’t normally remember it, or we don’t twig to what is really going on.

Clearly, this raises a lot of questions, some I will attempt to answer and some I am trying to still work out myself.

Let’s start off with one of the overused sayings in spiritual circles. Time is an illusion.

It’s also a very good and complete one.

However, all things are happening now, and everything that ever was, is, and will be is all occurring right at this very moment.

It’s only the illusion of time that allows us to experience it as a separate stream of time.

So, if everything that ever existed is happening now, and there is no time, then we, as spirit, can choose to enter into any timeline we choose, at any particular moment in history. The only limits are what we are attuned to within our own soul aspect (which is what we call our soul).

By this I mean that if you have raised your personal vibrational levels enough, you can shift to a higher version of the world you just left, and if your level is lower than before, then you might find yourself in a lower or darker version.

Now, I’m not trying to use anything like Heaven or Hell, or trying to scare or convert people, so please hear me out.

What level you are attuned to depends entirely on you. There is no being sitting in judgement deciding if you are worthy or not. There is no judgement: Only experience and attunement.

Every action you took, every thought you had, every intention you have all add up to who you are right now.

Whether you come from a place of love, or a place of fear, it all has an effect on you.

Every decision you make is an opportunity to redefine yourself. None of the things that happen to us are random. They are all opportunities.

To use a simple example, let’s say you buy your lunch, and you notice the sandwich hand gives you back too much change. Do you keep it and say nothing or do you let them know? In the scheme of things, it won’t change the world if you decide to keep the change, but this isn’t about what’s right and what’s wrong. It’s about an opportunity to define yourself and declare “this is who I really am.”

Do you give the money back? Do you keep it? Would you say something if you were short changed and you noticed? Does your moral code work both ways?

And so forth.

And these opportunities come up all the time. Some are small, some are large, and many just happen as a matter of life happening to us. And every single one of them counts.

Even the smallest decision can change the course of your entire life. You just won’t know it at the time. At least, not till you look back and see it.

Now, this is not an attempt to convince people to be a goody two shoes, or be holier than thou, it’s simply stating that in every moment you are making a choice about what you will experience, and the type of world you may end up living in.

Also remember, belief creates reality, and reality creates belief. If you are not happy with your current reality, change your belief system.  (I will discuss this subject in a future blog.)

Just remember that we are choosing our reality all the time.

Next: If we choose our lives, why do they suck so much?

Spirit Guides – Part 3 – Dakini: Even I had trouble with accepting this one.

The following blog  is a 8 part series on Spirit Guides, my experiences, and what you might do in order to contact your own. 


Still with me? Many of my experiences are bizarre, and this one is no exception.


Discovering the Dakini – Part 1

As I mentioned, it took me a very long time before I accepted I even had guides, but it took even longer before I worked out who some of them were.

My guides give me the same messages over and over, sometimes for years and years and they don’t stop until I finally understand the meaning behind them. Trust me when I say, it’s a very tedious process.

For the longest time, I would get the messages:  Do you know who we are? and You still don’t know who we are. over and over in my thoughts for many years until I finally discovered the answer.

It started off, curiously enough, in 1999 with the third book in the Celestine Prophecy – The Secret of Shambhala by James Redfield.

The book landed on my desk the day it came out. My mother had gotten a call from the bookshop that I had ordered it and bought it for me.

This novel, arguably James Redfield’s best book so far, was about the search for the 11th insight and the tale of the search of the mythical Shambhala and the Dakini angels that inhabited the area.  While it was an interesting book, there wasn’t all that much that commanded my attention, though I found all the concepts to be intriguing.

After that, I found a chat room on the web site, got involved with the community there, and made countless connections until the room shut down.

About 2006, I was chatting and discussing the books with a friend I had met in the chat room, when she mentioned that James was mad to be messing with the Dakini as they were known, to her knowledge, to be beings you just didn’t mess around with.

As my knowledge about them was zero,  I couldn’t make any comments, though I had to admit that her observations felt right.

I instinctively felt that they weren’t being I would want to tangle with personally.

Thanks for some major events a couple of years before, I had awakened some, and became aware that I was able to trace energies with relative ease.

I can’t really explain how it’s done. The best that I can explain is that once I know what a certain type of energy feels like, I can locate a match for it with my mind. This helps me to identify who certain people are in my life and my past life connections.

I decided to reach out and feel if there were any Dakini present. I wasn’t expecting to feel any, but I got the distinct impression that there were. How I knew what to look for, I also can’t explain. Somehow I just knew.

The impression I got was they hidden and watching me. I also got a strong feeling that I shouldn’t probe any further, so I let it go.

Over the next few months, I would check every so often, and they were always there, though I still felt that I shouldn’t probe.

At the time, I was talking to another lady who I was trying to help recover from psychic attacks, though she seemed fatalistically resigned to leaving this world. She was quite an intelligent and nice person, but claimed that people would always stop talking to her for no reason.

From my own experience, it was more the other way around. She would stop talking to them or leave the online group she was in.

In an attempt to find out if she was under attack, I  used my mind to travel in the astral levels to see if she was being attack and what the source might be. What I found was this large armoured lizard that was standing upright. I didn’t hang around, though once I had seen it. I just left.

As I tend to hate clichés seeing a lizard was not something I wanted to see. I’m not a fan of conspiracy theories, and certainly those that abound about shape changing lizards just annoy me greatly. So seeing this vision was something I decided to ignore.

Then one night, around three months after my discussion with my friend on the Dakini, I found myself travelling in my mind through the astral. I tend to do this a lot. It was something that came naturally to me for as long as I can remember. It’s fair to say it’s much less frequent nowadays, though sometimes I will get a strong pull to do so.

That night, I was about to go to sleep when I felt the strong compulsion to do it.

Next: Discovering the Dakini part 2

Being credulous doesn’t mean I’m not sceptical, too.

The sceptical Empath

My life has been unusual, to put it mildly. Those who know me would not deny that, and there are some things that I just can’t explain away, no matter how creative I become.

I’ve seen and experienced a lot of things, some of which will be posted to this blog in time.

This is what this entry is about. How credulous am I? What measures, if any, do I take to try to ensure that all I’m writing about isn’t just the delusion of some active imagination?

And that is a good question.

I’m what you would call a purist and I prefer to deal with facts and true experiences. It’s easy to ignore things if they don’t fit your belief system. However, believing that the world is flat does not make it any less round.

I truly believe that we do more harm than good to our cause if we ignore explanations that account for why something happens.

I feel that in order to remain objective about things, you need to be ready to accept that what you thought was so, may not be correct at all. I’ve certainly gone through that a few times in my life.

As new information comes up, I take that into account. Sometimes it fits into the bigger picture, and sometimes I have to rethink what I thought I knew. As long as I remain open to new information, I know I will get to the answers.

Over the years, I’ve done some intense studying on universal laws, life before death, after death, reincarnation, souls, manifesting, and so on. I read everything I could get my hands on and ran it through my mind and my feelings.

Eventually I reached a point where if I focused on a subject, I would ‘feel’ the answer. Meaning that I would get answers that felt right to me, and made sense. Sometimes the information would come quickly, sometimes it would come in section, and sometimes it would take years, with refinements and clarifications added.

I believe that getting the answers was a matter of being attuned to the information. There have certainly been times when I’ve been quite surprised by the results.

A lot of my works do have their basis in my studies of other works, and for that I acknowledge people like Neale Donald Walsch and Michael J Roads and Kyriacos Markides as three main sources of inspiration. Those works helped attune me and allowed me to understand and bring down much more information.

All my work is my work. They are my feelings and thoughts on a subject. What I write feels true for me, though, this may not be the case for others, as everyone has their own individual reality.

If you read these topics and it resonate with you, then use it. If not, then simply use it as another person’s perspective, which can be just as valuable.

By nature, I tend to be somewhat of a sceptic and a cynic. While I keep an open mind about everything, I treat many things I hear about with a healthy dose of scepticism. There’s a lot of misinformation out there, and there are many people who repeat what they hear from other sources without check to see if it feels right for them.

I also trust my intuition and feelings 100%. Many things that should NOT be possible, feel right to me. When I was younger, I ignored those feelings, and my life just never worked out as I planned. It was only when I started to listen did things shift and my life ramped into high gear.

I am aware that many of the things I say and discuss are really ‘out there’. I could choose to tone it down. I could choose to use ambiguous words or speak in a way that absolves my responsibility for what this information imparts, but I am not going to do that.

There are people out there who need to find this information. They need to find it because they are experiencing the same things, and will need the validation that it is happening, and that they are not crazy.

So should you read my stuff, may you enjoy my writing.

Also, feel free to poke fun at it with your friends. 🙂