Depression series – Empaths and concern for others or Why didn’t you call?


Over-concern for others.

Check-list

  • You worry about others
  • You feel bad about when others try and fail.
  • We feel anxiety when others don’t come home when expected. 

Empaths often get depressed in regards to other people. 

It might be for the person who has gone to buy a special present for someone, only to have gotten it very wrong, due to lack of knowledge. You may feel bad for them because you feel all the effort they put into it has gone to waste.  You wish things had worked out for them with all that work, and it makes you feel, sad, bad and terribly depressed.

Perhaps you might be worried about a friend or a loved one in regards to how life is going for them, or if they are doing well or not.

If we fear something is wrong with them, we, ourselves, may feel anxious, and will not be able to rest until we are reassured that all is well. We tend to experience that awful sinking feeling of anxiety in the pit of our stomach until we hear some news that reassures us.

This is especially true for empaths with children who are out late or their partner has not returned at the normal time. We immediately imagine the worst and fear that something terrible has happened.

It’s hard to disassociate ourselves from the fear to check on your feelings, as we are too attached to the outcome, and that colours what we are feeling.

Intuition works well, but if it’s tainted by our fears, it can make us feel things which aren’t true. It’s hard to step back and be objective in these kind of situations as we tend to have too much of our own selves invested in our relationships.

For some empaths, they often don’t feel good unless others are feeling good. If they are having a rough time, we will put our own happiness on hold until they are doing better.

This is not healthy as it not only hurt you, but actually makes things worse for those you are concerned about. Not only do they have to deal with their own problems, but they also have to take you into account, putting pressure on them.

I know, from personal experience, that I can’t have a bad day without everyone around me going into melt down over it. It drives me crazy. Sometimes I just want to work through things, and not have to go into damage control because of it. Sometimes I just want to have a bad day and work through my feelings.

People have bad days. People need bad days. They need those times to let out their frustration. Or maybe they just aren’t feeling well. It doesn’t really matter what the reason is, it’s important to give them space to be, and show that they are supported, without making it into something it isn’t.

Of course, being empaths, we can’t help but care.

I would suggest that the key to dealing with this is to understand that the other person does know exactly what they are doing on a soul level. Everything is as it should be; even those really crappy events that seem to crop up in one’s life. If you can know and accept this, and know it in your heart, then you can let go of the fear, and understand that they are living their life as needed.

Bach Flower Remedy: 

Red Chestnut.

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