Tag Archive | Mental health

Should we charge for our services or does that devalue them? (part 1)


Example 1. Optical feedback

I started this off as a musing on if we should charge for our services, but found it became a little more personal as I explored options.

I offer it here to others who face the same dilemmas and welcome any thoughts and suggestions on this subject. 

People have strongly suggested that I should start charging for my time and maybe that’s what it will come down to in the end, because what I find is that most either seem to not value what I do, or they will feel that they can’t come back to me because they feel too embarrassed and awkward.

However, I find that this is a controversial subject because, on one hand, there are plenty of scammers out there who are quite happy to fleece people out of their hard-earned cash in exchange for generic information that could apply to anyone and on the other hand, if you do provide a service, some kind of exchange needs to take place.

I’ve been helping people since 1986 and so far, I’ve not charged for my services, help and advice I’ve provided, and normally, I will send people what they need at my own expense. (Generally, those will be Bach Flower Remedies. It’s a shame I don’t get commission for recommending and buying them!)

I find that, in spite of the thousands of bottles of remedies and rescue cream that I’ve sent out since 1995, there is something unsatisfying about it overall. In the end, it leaves you feeling flat.

Over the years, I’ve made the following observations.

Even though people ask for help, they will not actually use what I send them.

They will generally either:

  • Not take the remedies at all.
  • I never actually hear from them again, or get any feedback on if they actually helped or not.Ignore my advice on how they should be taken and only take them once or twice a day. (When in fact, they should be taken at least four times a day when starting out, and every few minutes when things are at a critical point.)

On the last point, I’ve actually had a couple of people tell me that they drank the entire bottle in one go when they reached a crisis point (and also claim it saved their lives!) It’s waste, though, as they are meant to last years.

I even had one person tell me, after I send the remedies, that she didn’t trust anything sent from people she did not know. She could have saved me fifty dollars if she had told me before hand.

When I do get feedback, however, it is mostly positive.

As I’m always learning about what to do, every success and every failure helps me for the next person.

For example, I’ve only recently discovered that the Bach Flower Remedy Mustard is excellent for dealing with negative energy attacks. Some people I’ve helped would have benefited from it if I had known that at the time. However, as it was not sent, they did not get the remedy they needed.

Now, there are a few who do follow my instructions and provide feedback, and generally, it is of a very positive nature. They also keep in contact from time to time, even if it’s just to say hello.

Those people tend to be the most renewing for me, as even their best wishes and friendship goes a long, long way.

I also get the odd person who will write me essay after essay and essentially give me their life’s story. Then they stop, only to return a few months later asking for more help (also in a very long e-mail.)

I find those tend to be the biggest drain on me.

I have come to the point where I feel I can no longer keep up this type of one way energy exchange.

So, I’ve got two options. Either I stop doing this altogether or I start to charge in some way.

Next: Looking at options.

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Best description of depression… or is it the best description of an depressed Empath?


I’ve seen the below link a number of times touted as the best description of depression.

What immediately struck me was it was a very good description of an Empath (a depressed one.)

Well worth a look.

http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com.au/2013/05/depression-part-two.html

Q&A – Developing my abilities or I might have been out of my mind.


Vector drawing of the five kinds of Zener cards. Ordered by number of lines and curves. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Should you develop your empath abilities?

If you have any topics you want to know more about, please ask.

This week’s question come from nattietee at (http://lovelightlearn.wordpress.com/)

She asked.

Have you ever thought or tried to hone your abilities as an empath? I would love to hear more.

Thanks Nattietee and that is a really good question because the answer is not what you might expect.

To answer this, I’ll relate a story that happened to me back in the mid 1980s.

At the time, I had just read about being telepathic, and I thought that this would be a very cool ability to develop.

So I made the decision to do what I could to increase that ability.

That was before I really understood that I was an Empath, and that I was suffering from depression., I also was very ungrounded, but had no clue that it was grounded even meant.

But the idea seemed like it would be a lot of fun, and I knew I was already a little telepathic, as I’d often pick up on thoughts of others before they said them.

Back in those days, I was going through a CBing (Citizen Band Radio) phase, and I’d often drive around at night just chatting to random people.

One night, about a day after I decided to become telepathic, I was talking to this lady I had never spoken to before (or since for that matter) and the discussion was nothing exceptional. Then, out of the blue, she stated that she had a friend who became telepathic, and that he had gone mad because of it.

That was a clear a hint to me, as it could be, not to continue my plan. So I dropped it.

It was only many years later when I thought about it, and realized what an insane plan it would have been, as I was barely coping with my current psychic levels back then, and even my basic understandings was sorely lacking.

I would have left myself completely open and vulnerable. I don’t believe I would have coped, let alone stayed sane if I gone ahead and developed those powers.

To answer your question, I don’t try to push my abilities as an Empath, but I work to be aware of them, and listen to my feelings as to how far I should go with them.

To rise too fast, to push too hard is sure to lead to burn out, and as anyone who has experienced such things will tell you, that is a horrible state to be in and it can take years to recover.

I just trust that my abilities are exactly where they need to be, and they steadily seem to grow stronger over the natural course of time.

No doubt I could be further along than I am right now, but going with the flow and the natural growth always feels like the best options to me.

It’s worth reminding anyone that it is dangerous to raise your energies and powers before you are ready to cope with them.

Got a question? Want to know more about a subject? Please leave it in the comment section, or send it to xeraphax@gmail.com. Questions will be answered on Sundays. 

Is Empathy a major cause of depression?


I’ve had a question in my mind recently:

Do sociopaths get depressed?

A Sociopath is someone who is someone lacking in empathy . They give the illusion of being emphatic  but their actions are self serving and rarely benefit others.

I know they get upset, anxious, worried and lose sleep over problems that will affect them, but do they actually get depressed? Do they even  feel down in the dumps?

So far, in my observations, I’d have to say I’ve not seen it. I could be wrong, of course, as I’ve not had the resources to do any meaningful study on the subject, but let’s assume I’m right for a moment.

The reason I pondered this question is because I’m wondering if one of the major cause of depression, (and cause of those who do self-harm), is empathy.

Are Empaths not only more prone to depression, but does depression mean that you may be an Empath?

Of course, I know enough to understand that this is a very simplistic premise, as depression can be caused by post-traumatic stress disorders, or uncleared shock and trauma, leading to clinical depression and everyone can have that happen in their life.

Still, there seems to be a common link between depression without obvious cause and being an Empath.

If someone is depressed, the first thing I wonder about them is are they one? In many cases, the answer is yes.

Still thinking it over.

 

If you know someone with depression, I’d love your feedback on the below poll.

Healing Depression Series: Bach Flower Remedies or Flower Power.


Bach Flower Remedies – Introduction   

I hated being depressed. I hated it so much that I relentlessly pursued and tried everything that I could get my hands on. I tried herbs, psychic healers, meditation, therapies like Reiki and Kinesiology, crystals, aura-light, aura-soma, anti-depressants and just about anything else I could get access to. Each one I approached with optimism, and each one failed to produce the desired results.

There were times when I did have significant breakthroughs, and my depression lifted, and I had a new lease on life, but it returned a year or so later. Those breakthroughs, I should also hasten to mention were not connected with any therapies I was trying out at the time.

I had suffered from depression since I was around 13 years of age. Each year was a struggle, especially during Fall.

It wasn’t till I was 30 that I started using the Bach Flower Remedies. They are a simple, safe, non-addictive, non-toxic way to heal yourself on an emotional level.  For instance, if you have a fear of spiders, that is classed as a known fear and taking Mimulus will help or even stop the fear,  as that is the remedy for known fears.

I had ignored the remedies for a few years, thinking ‘yeah right!’ when I saw them at the health food shop. Then, one day, during a soul call, in which I was helping someone with a natural therapy business, I saw them being sold in their shop. I asked about them, and she explained what they did and how they worked.

I had a very strong pull to try, study and understand them. Over the course of several months, I bought books, all 38 remedies and committed to memory what all of them did, and what their names were.

Now, normally, my attention spam for trying something new ranges from two weeks to two years, and I will then just completely forget about whatever it is I’m trying.

The Bach Flower Remedies (BFR) were different through. Each time I used them, I felt a shift in my emotions. Learning about each remedy was exciting to me, and the positive results kept me going. Every time I suffered from depression, I would find the remedy I needed, and the depression would lift.

As the years went on, I started to understand them at a much deeper level, and realized that emotions are a tricky thing to identify. For instance, what might feel like fear and worry might actually be guilt.

Identifying what we are really feeling is vital to using the BFR’s with any degree of success.

I can state that I no longer suffer depression on the scale I once did. I still get feelings of anxiety, due to my empathy, but I am aware that’s not me, and I also know what I need to do to block it.

I do claim to know as much about the Bach Flowers as anyone in this world, and I also have made discoveries about them that had not been published before.

Hence, the majority of my discussion on healing depression will be BFR related and I will cover all aspects.

Depression can be healed. I truly believe and have experienced that.  Not just covered up, not just glossed over, but healed.

The next series of blogs will look at and discuss the BFR’s objectively.

 

Next: Are they a Placebo? 

Healing Depression Series: You can cure depression or WTF! How dare you say that!


Depression can be cured.

Yes, I know that’s a bold statement to make and I also know it will make many people very angry that I even would suggest such a thing.

Actually, that anger has always bemused me. The general reaction is: how dare you suggest such a thing! You have not gone through what I have, and you can’t possibly know what it’s like to have gone through Hell and back.

And they are right. No one knows what it’s like to go through what they have gone through, unless they have gone through the same things themselves.

Empaths will feel it, but it’s not the same thing.

Those suffering from depression will know it on such a level that they resent that anyone might claim they understand and can help.

And really, I can turn it around and claim that those people have no clue what I’ve been though, and I’m pretty sure that I’m in the small minority of people who has had also relentless psychic attacks every day for years. I experienced that when I was young and lived with seemingly no hope or help.

But it’s what makes me, me. It’s what has brought me to this point in my life and qualifies me to talk about many subjects that I have personally experienced.

And while I can’t claim to have been through what everyone else has, and let’s face it, who has? It is a fact that depressions come down to certain types and certain categories.

For instance, traumatic childhood events will produce uncleared trauma, and lead to clinical depression if not dealt with. The cause will differ; the results will certainly be similar, though.

And I can claim to have experienced nearly every type of depression over the years. I can also claim that I was able to cure it and move past it.

When I was a teen, I could never accept that certain conditions were incurable. That nothing could be done to help. I could not accept that there wasn’t a solution, and so I, almost obsessively, researched and tried everything I could get my hands on.

Over the years, I must have tried most therapies at least once, and I came across some which were actually effective.

I also came across many that just didn’t do a thing for me. But I still tried them for long enough to see if they would work.

When I write about something, it’s from my own experience. These are the things that have worked for me, on a constant basis, and could be repeated in other people who were experiencing the same type of problems.

So, yes, there are people who will be incensed at my claims that I can help them.

This blog isn’t for them… at least not yet.

It’s for those who have had enough, and are willing to try things that they might not have looked at before.

Next: Healing Depression Series: Bach Flower Remedies – An Introduction.

Depression series: Melancholy or Why does my heart feel so bad?


It’s only one line, but Moby made it into a whole song and if you’re an Empath, you might well feel that sense of depression when you watch the video.

For me, when I first saw this back in the year 2000, it brought out the pain of loneliness and a melancholy so profound that it was irresistible as it was seductive.

At the time, death was calling to me, and I felt it, and at some level, I knew it. And while that is a subject for a future blog, at the time, I felt the sweet surrender of despair and while hope remained eternal, I knew things were coming to an end.

And they did in some ways.

Empaths, especially psychic ones, can sense the future. They can sense when something is going to happen. There are many stories of how psychics couldn’t shake the feeling of doom weeks before 9/11, and I wonder how many picked up the coming tragedy of the Boston Marathon Bombings.

This is a different kind of depression to the other kinds. Make no mistake, it’s as potent as any other type, but this one also has a sense of fatalism that can’t be avoided.

You know something is going to happen. You don’t understand what, but it’s there. And your heart, and your soul is heavy and hurting. Your eyes are on the verge of tears, but there is no apparent reason, and all you want to do is curl up in a corner, and hide away.

I know when I finally move on from this life, my biggest regret is leaving those who do love me.

I know they will be fine, but the sense of loss is always there. For the most part, that’s what holds me here in this current lfe.

When a coming event changes life, the Empath will feel it, and they will mourn its passing, even though it has yet to occur.  Change is never easy, but it’s made harder when it hasn’t even happened yet.

Melancholy is a horrible form of depression to experience. More people experience it than you would suspect.

If you experience it, keep a diary, and compare it to major events that happen later. You might be surprised at the results.

Bach Flower Remedies that can help with this are:

Sweet Chestnut – when change is foisted upon you.

Star of Bethlehem – for Shock and trauma.

Aspen – For vague fear and anxiety.